Will’s View

It’s come to my attention that one goes through a veritable roller-coaster ride of emotions whilst flying internationally (okay, so some of them are just states of mind rather than emotions. But I’m using editorial license.)

Tiredness: Getting up at 5 am local time is a real bummer. This  is usually about the time when you wish you’d just spent the extra $30 for the flight that left at 10 am.

Boredom: This happens a lot during air travel, especially with the new regulations on liquids and metals and blades and whatever else you can possibly think of to restrict. But at this particular stage it is the boredom of waiting in a queue for check-in. Even though you’re there at least two hours before your flight, you still need to wait in line. And it gets worse if the computer system decides to have a slight hiccup.

Suspicion: When you go through customs, because you’re sure that they think you’re a drug dealer. Sure, having an afro doesn’t help, but hey, it’s a free world!

Persecution: Again, often happens during air travel. In this case because I’m usually singled out for ‘random’ explosives testing and ‘random’ interviews whilst coming through customs. Again, this may have something to do with the afro. I’m not sure.

Fake-ness: Okay, so that’s not a word. But this happens when you step on board the plane and get up close to the air hostesses to realise that you can almost see brush strokes in their layers of foundation. Like the work of an impressionist painter-in-training. Add to that the ear to ear grins and the bad jokes to try and make the flight ‘fun’, and I sure feel right at home.

Boredom: Yeah, so I’ve done this one already, but this is a different type of boredom. The sort where you’re stuck in one place and realise that because your flight left so early in the morning you forgot to pack a decent book, so you have to read the in-flight magazine again, and again, and again. Then you resort to whatever music player you happen to have, just to realise that –again due to the early-morning nature of the flight– you forgot to charge it enough to last the distance. This leaves no other resort than the uncomfortable-plane-nap.

Post-nap pain: I’m sure chiropractors make a lot of money off people ruining their backs through incorrect sleeping posture. I’m also willing to bet that quite a few of these are uncomfortable-plane-nap victims. After you wake up there’s the usual grogginess and feeling that you’ve been cheated of a decent nap, but this is usually accompanied by a dull ache in the neck, and the realisation that you’ve just tripled your chances of getting DVT.

Excitement: When it finally becomes apparent that the plane has started descent, and you can see the destination in the distance. This is one of the best parts of plane travel.

Apprehension: When the pilot is negotiating the landing. We all get a little worried/concerned.

Relief: When the plane gets slammed on the deck, and the reverse thrust and wheel brakes kick into action.

Basically, from here on in it’s like the first four, but in reverse. Until you emerge the other end, an emotional, aching, tired wreck. Ain’t travelling a blast!

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 13th, 2007 at 9:50 pm and is filed under Rant. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.