The Venerable Phone Bill Hierarchy
I was most excited a couple of days ago when I had my phone bill delivered to me. The reason why: It was inside an A4-size envelope! I felt like I had entered into the upper echelon of bill receivers.
In my estimations the more that you spend on a company, the more they should spend on you. So when you start off receiving bills you get them in the cheap envelopes without the plastic window. They’re folded every which way in order to fit them in the undersized envelope, and you usually manage to get some third-party advertising too. Excellent.
After you’ve been with them for longer (or spent more money) they send your bills in a slightly more presentable envelope, but they are still folded and squished into the envelope. This continues until it gets to the point where you can’t actually fold the bill, and then they finally bite the bullet and put it in an A4-sized envelope. Now you’ve reached the top of the pyramid, as far as I’m concerned anyway. There may be higher levels where you get your bills delivered by courier, or attractive supermodels, but the A4 envelope is as far as I’ve gone. I live in hope…
November 20th, 2006 at 7:17 pm
After screwing optus out of a collected $4000 of phone services… i get my bills devlivered by hand in gold envelopes… just the way it is
November 21st, 2006 at 7:53 am
Attractive supermodels? Somebody please “tell him he’s dreamin’”…
Save a tree Will, sign up for paperless billing (delivered straight to your inbox)… So much easier…
November 21st, 2006 at 9:47 am
I don’t have the internet at home GeM, remember? Plus I think my phone provider uses recycled paper. Sure it’s bleached and processed and stuff, but I can wash my hands of the whole tree-felling thing…
November 23rd, 2006 at 9:26 pm
bugger it, cut down all the trees and then bill the tree cutting companies… then, for giggles, watch the weird freaky hippies who hid behind white jump suits and masks at the recent g20 summit go and make new banners to protest it? out of what you say? well they certianly are not going to deliver paperless messages of hate… somthing not as dramatic as someone clicking send.