Ethereal ‘Ping’
Lift manufacture is a curious thing. One would think it’s relatively straight-forward to design a lift: it goes up; then goes down again. Sure there’s a little more to it than that, but it’s the bells and whistles they add that cause me grief.
Example: That ping that lifts make when they reach your floor. Well if the hallway leading to the lifts is made out of something that reflects sound (i.e. faux-marble) then it needs to be a little more offensive in order to construe its meaning. If I’m waiting in the hallway for an elevator, and the ping echoes around the hall, I have to waste energy looking around to see which one it is….isn’t the sound meant to prevent the unnecessary expenditure of effort?
Then we have the lovely voice that announces whether we’re going up or down, and what floor we’re on. The only problem is that the floors all sound the same. Because of the crappy speakers in the lifts (someone probably cut some corners somewhere) it just sounds like that ethereal feminine voice is saying “mmberf floor”, which doesn’t make any kind of sense. I swear, if they didn’t mean i could avoid stairs altogether, I might not even use them.
June 20th, 2006 at 9:58 pm
Ahh, the joys of the law building! oh well suppose it’s not the joys of the engineering building elevators which have the loveliest aromas and no female voice even to mutter what floor, if any, the damn thing goes to!
June 21st, 2006 at 9:01 am
LMMFAO, two of the truest things I’ve read on here, but some points to add.
I’d watch myself before I go around accusing the Law building of having faux marble. With all the cost cutting on speakers it may well be real (and possibly granite if it’s what I’m thinking of).
““mmberf floor” Perfect description, espescially for the 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, 9th, 10th. The 2nd and 7th have their own distinct sound however. mmmberf floor”. IE its longer. Slightly.
No idea what the mezzanine sounds like. Who ever thought of having a mezzanine anyway. There’s nothing there, it just fills the gap between the ground and the first. Not much going on at the first either, except when there are Doctors’ Conventions. Catered Doctors’ Conventions. MMMMMM
Its only real purpose is to complete the column of toilets, one of the best ideas I’ve ever come across in tall building design. You put the toilets in the same place on each level, so everyone knows where they are, and there’s plenty, and you can probably common plumb them. And then you clean them every morning. Eng, you listening?
And re. the eng elevator. It took me upstairs once, when the stairs were being painted. I didn’t even know if I was going up, as no sensation of increased body weight resulted from being accellerated upwards. I thought I was still on the same floor when the doors opened. Silly.
Thankyou,
~SST
*KUDOS to ICT for having a column of toilets too.
June 21st, 2006 at 10:24 am
The Creative Arts building (where the French faculty lives) put toilets in same spot on each level, but some smart-cookie thought it’d be a good idea to alternate male-female-male-female each level. They look identical. Makes for a lot of people of the wrong sex walking in randomly.
June 21st, 2006 at 1:32 pm
oh, what about the toilets in old arts opposite the PLT. the guys toilet must have been converted along the way from a female toilet. I NEVER feel comfortable in there.
Or the e block toilets hidden between first and ground or middle ground or whatever the hell that level is with the fluid mechanics lab in it! like feakin harry pothead magic in that building.
and thanks for setting up a great discussion on toilet locations at unimelb guys, really, nothing else will does is more exciting?
Man this site is going down the drain!
June 21st, 2006 at 1:35 pm
or the toilets under the rivett theatre in redmond barry? no light, i swear there’s always someone shooting up in there, or has just vomitted their entire stomach contents, and you can see over the cubical walls very easily!
Class science, class, you guys really know how to do toilets!
June 21st, 2006 at 8:05 pm
I got stuck in a elevator today…it wasnt moving…there were no noises…lights….or voices…stupid elevators
June 21st, 2006 at 8:15 pm
yeah i’ve had that problem before……… pushing a button to pick a floor normally clears it right up
June 21st, 2006 at 9:36 pm
Hey Pete, at least JAC doesn’t struggle with the whole going up/down stairs thing. Unlike some people I know… not to name names…
June 22nd, 2006 at 12:09 am
heh, pete and stairs… no mix!
oops no names… got in trouble for that last time…
June 23rd, 2006 at 5:00 pm
Sounds like mis-positioning toilets is a common problem. UC MSCS building also has toilets at the same position on each floor, alternating male/female. Never mind the fact that a female toilet falls on a floor for the cosc postgrads, normally consisting of ~29 to 1 male:female ratio.
August 29th, 2006 at 10:46 pm
[…] I had another run in with a lift today, in the same building that has ethereal pings, and it got me to thinking. […]